Parents.

Now, I may step on some toes here. Who am I to tell you how to parent? I haven't done it. I'm just a kid myself. Here's my disclaimer. I am not telling you how to parent. I am letting you in on my own idea of parenting. I'm letting you in on how I feel about the concept of parenting. Nothing I say is specific to anyone.

As a kid, I had a stable sense of how my parents worked. I knew when I was stepping over the line, I knew when I could usually "get away" with something. I knew what would make them laugh, what would make them happy, and I generally knew what I could and couldn't do.

They were my parents.

Well as I grew up I learned those things even better, and now, at age 18, I feel I can read my parents like a book. Yeah, there are always a few exceptions, but on a day to day basis, I know what's going on with them. Now, they aren't just my parents, they are my teachers, my heroes, and my friends. But they are always my parents first.

And I think I came out of it alright. I am a strong person, I know who I am, I know what I like, I know what I want to get out of my life, I know right from wrong, I know how to treat people, and I live my life in a respectable way. I'm not saying I'm perfect, all I'm saying is I can certainly thank my parents for who I've turned out to be.

I grew up in a tolerant house. I never grew up with a family that didn't accept other people (for whatever reason) I grew up thinking that all people are just people. I grew up knowing that I could tell my parents anything. I know when I am a parent I will make that the environment my children grow up in.

My mom is rooted deeply in her faith. I was lucky enough to be given that same love, I was lucky enough to be given that faith. Mom and Dad are the most loving people I've ever known. Both of my parents are so full of love in their own way, they are passionate about their children. My mother knows when words can't reach a person, a hug will. My father knows exactly the kind of advice needed, he opens his mouth and whatever he says is a nugget of gold. Mom and Dad both have a different set of tools, but they work together effortlessly to love and teach us kids. I have moments, now that I'm older, when my parents are "actively parenting" either me or my siblings, where I take a mental note. Over the course of my life, I've picked up on nearly all the "tools" my mother and father have. I've started to build up my own tools, I've actively learned from my parents over the course of my life so that I can become as great a parent as both of them.

Parents are supposed to accept their children no matter what. Parents are supposed to be loving and nurturing. No matter what. Even if your child reveals to you they're gay. Even if they fall in love with someone of a different race. Even if they make mistakes. Even if they choose a career you don't like. Even if they do things you don't like. They are your children. You don't have the option to disapprove. They are still your child, and they still depend on you. They will never admit it, but they will always depend on you, even just a little. You brought them into this world, and they grew up under you, listening to you, idolizing you... even when they grow up, they still look to you for advice, they still listen to you, idolize you... they look to you for acceptance.

The biggest thing a parent can give their child is acceptance. I was blessed with a family that accepted me as I came. I was blessed with a family that taught me to accept, too. It isn't just about accepting your child, it's about accepting everyone and teaching your child to accept everyone, too.

Life is so backwards sometimes. Children come into this world and are born unbiased. They don't have any preference. As infants, it doesn't matter who holds them, feeds them, or plays with them. They will make the same faces at any race, they will make the same noises for any sexuality. They don't know enough to care.

As toddlers, they are still blind to any differences. They will take their first steps towards anyone. They will learn to play with anyone. Take your kids to the playground. You will see that if you just let them play-- let them do what they will as natural children-- you will soon notice that they will play with any other child, black, asian, deaf, boy, girl... it doesn't matter.

It isn't until we enter school that we honestly see the differences between people. We pay attention to it because it's there, not because we don't like it. We are taught to disapprove, we are taught to dislike, we are taught to discriminate. I was lucky enough to be brought up in a house that didn't force me to grow out of my innocence. I noticed the differences between people, but it didn't affect how I treated them. I learned to accept anyone, because, although they may be different than me, that's who they are.


Parents are here to love and nurture, and children are put in place to teach their parents how to accept. So although it is your job as parents to teach, take a breath and learn to be taught by your children.